This is my son……
I had lunch with Chandler today. I ordered some Chinese food to go and headed to the cemetery. I was there to spend time with my son. I was there to talk to him, to think about his life and reflect on some of our times together. I was basically there to love my son! You see, tomorrow January 31st is the 6-month mark of his death and therefore makes 6 months that I have been without Chandler. Tonight I went back to the cemetery with my wife Rhonda, and we spent the late afternoon and early evening together with Chandler.
We brought the blower and rake to clear the grave and the surrounding area from leaves
and fallen branches from the last rain. Earlier in the fall we had spread winter rye grass seed and it’s now a beautiful soft green all around this peaceful area where we now spend so much of our time. The batteries to the ever-glowing candle needed to be changed and the fresh flowers needed to be watered. Rhonda and I talked of Chandler as we hugged and cried together. I love my son and want everyone I meet to know him and know that I love him.
So, if I may indulge on this 6 month anniversary, let me SHOUT to all…
I love my son Chandler and I am so proud of him; who he is and the man he was becoming. I am proud of his travels and teaching in China and I am proud of his worship leading and song writing. I am proud of this parent honoring and obedient son. I am button popping proud and honored and thankful to God to be Chandler’s earthly father! I could keep going…..
Most of all, however, I am proud that Chandler loved Jesus and was a sold-out disciple, sharing the love of Christ where ever he went. “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth”. III John 4. I am very blessed to have the assurance that right now, Chandler is in heaven fellowshipping with his Heavenly Father and with the other saints who have gone home.
God loved His Son too!
Please don’t think I’m weird…. God did the same thing in Luke 3 where He says, “ This is my Son. In Whom I am pleased!” Later He says it again, while Jesus was on the mountain at the transfiguration saying, “This is my Son, whom I love. Listen to Him.” God made it very clear how He felt about His Son and that He planned on glorifying Him for all eternity.
I have learned from God’s example in this manner. I find it amazing, but I learn so much about my relationship with my children and their relationship with me through my relationship with my Heavenly Father. Have you ever noticed that? Anyway, as the Father wanted ALL to know that He loved his Son, I find myself wanting ALL to know that I love my son! Now to be clear, I am obviously not comparing my son to Jesus. I’m simply proclaiming a father’s love for his son.
Yes, I love my son! I am so proud of him, I miss him terribly and I can not wait to see
him and embrace him again!
Lord come quickly!
Chuck Brazell
Your thoughts/comments?
A better tribute could not have been written! Precious words from a loving father to his honorable son! Still hurting with you today but Praising Jesus for Chandler’s life!
This blog brought me to tears…
Mr. & Mrs. Brazell… I have so much respect for you, I can’t even understand how strong your hearts must be … It saddens me when I think that you are hurt. But I often comfort myself by thinking of Mary, Jesus’ mother. Thinking of her looking at her son, with her own eyes, being tortured to death … ” Dogs have surrounded me; a band of evil men has encircled me, they have pierced my hands and my feet.”
I know there must be a reason why He picked you to be Jimmy’s parents on earth… your mighty hearts might be the reason.
Yafen, your words are always loving and encouraging and full of the Lord. I can honestly say that the only strength I have comes from God. Our hope is in Him! Thank you sweet friend!
And Chandler loved you just as much! You are an awesome dad, and Chandler is largely who he is because of you, Chuck. You taught him to love God, to love people and to do the right thing. Thank you for being an awesome dad to Chandler and our other children. Thank you for loving and leading us all. Thank you for remembering Chandler! I love you, Rhonda
As a parent, I can honestly say that there is no way I can understand how you are feeling. An emptiness, yes. Great pain, yes. An enormous amount of love, YES! And as you look at the amazing things YOUR son did, you are so proud, YES! Boone but God can understand your loss, so I go to scripture for the right words.
“The Lord will hear your crying, and he will comfort you. When he hears you, he will help you.” Isaiah 30:19. Also Psalms 34:17-19 says “The Lord hears good people when they cry out to Him, and he saves them from their troubles. The Lord is close to the broken-hearted, and he saves those whose spirits have been crushed. People who do what is right may have many problems, but the Lord will solve them all.”
I know God is holding your entire family close. Your faith is amazing and humbling. God bless you neighbors.
I am so thankful you give yourself the space…the time… and the freedom… to grieve… and love… and heal. This post is so touching and you have the right to shout it out. God has given you those deep felt feelings for your son and He understands your deep pain & looonging to see him once again. Even tho life goes on for the rest of us…you feel your loss freshly each day. I’m so sorry. Lifting you, Rhonda, and the family up in prayer tonight…and whenever you come to mind.
This is just a precious tribute and a current day lesson about glorifying God in our joy and our sadness. I am so proud of you and Rhonda and the way you reflect Christ in your pain. May God continue to richly bless you and the seeds that Chandler planted for the Kingdom! I love you both!!
Shouting with you!
Thank you for sharing your journey and insights through this wonderful tribute to Chandler. I, too, am moved to tears by your beautiful words and affirmations about him and his love for God. What a life well lived! Praying for you. Looking forward to that day when God wipes away ALL tears! We love your family.
I love him too, oh how I love him! Jimmy, you are greatly missed. I hope you’re having fun up there in heaven because down here it’s still hard. But I know I can say with confidence “blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God!” missing you. Oh and just so you know, I’m going to Africa this summer for about a month, I wish you were here so I could tell you about it but I know you’re still listening. I love you!
The Lord certainly does honor those who honor Him. Thank you for such an amazing tribute to Chandler’s life.
Chuck and Rhonda,
When I began reading this and got to the last sentence of the second paragraph, “I love my son and want everyone I meet to know him and know that I love him,” I immediately thought of God saying this about His Son Jesus without reading any further. I see no problem comparing Jimmy to Jesus: The Standard of love and light. Jimmy was obviously reborn in the image of Christ and will shine forever as a result. May knowing of Heaven’s gain, that God is gloried by your son’s presence, bring you both peace and joy now and forevermore. God truly loves you! And so do we!
A beautiful tribute to Chandler. I know you love him and he loves you! He showed it in how he honored you and Rhonda! You showed it to him by how you raised him. Wish there were more people like Chandler. I miss him dearly! We love you, Chandler!
I don’t think you are weird but I do think this is a lovely post and tribute to Chandler. God’s grace is evident in your life – being able and willing to share your personal journey of loss and grief with others. Yes, Lord come quickly!
What a lovely tribute. No doubt, the Peace of Christ comforts you in your grief and sadness. Words feel so shallow compared to your loss, nonetheless, I am so sorry for your loss.
Chuck, that was so precious. I agree with all the comments above. You are a great dad and husband, and yes, you LOVE your son! You should be so proud of him. I know you both miss him so much. Thank you for letting others in to your grief to see how the Lord works in bringing comfort, grace, and peace. I cannot imagine going through what you are, but if I were called to do so, I pray I could do it with such awesome, God-honoring grace. We love you guys. May the Lord strengthen and encourage you in a special way today.
I didn’t know Chandler, but I am very involved with TeenPact and have heard a lot about him through it since his death. He left an amazing legacy, and after his death it spread to more people than it probably otherwise would have. He has really been an inspiration to me and to many others who didn’t know him in life, but who are growing to love and respect him through death. Like I’ve said, I didn’t know him, but from what I’ve heard I think he would be glad that the Lord worked even through his death to spread his message and inspire others to want to live the way he did. I just wanted you to know that his mission and message did not end with his death, but that if anything they have spread farther and been a blessing to more than he could have reached otherwise.
Such amazing words from such strong parents. Nothing but admiration for you and your wife and the love you have for your son and for God. Peace be with you all. Much love!
Words can never even come close to begin to express the heartfelt sorrow each time you share your feelings, but I believe that through all this, you have connected so many of God’s people and bringing more and more glory to God’s kingdom by consistently revealing your never-ending love for Him. I know He is touching all of us through you and Rhonda (and the rest of your family), and I am praying that you all are feeling all the love that comes from the Father through His people as you receive our responses…thank you, again, for your bravery in sharing what would be difficult for everyone else to share.
Wanda, Thank you so much for your encouragement. It may sound strange, but it is actually very easy and natural for us to share our suffering. I guess because it comes from such great love for our son… love that God has placed in our hearts. There is much to learn about God in suffering. YES, we do feel the love from the responses, and they are a big part of our healing. Thank you for being a part of that, and for allowing God to use you in our healing. We will always be grateful for your love.
Chuck, your heart for your son absolutely blows me away. I cry over your loss but I also cry over the example you are setting for so many young men. Your example of strong, courageous, God-centered fatherhood is powerful. Thank you for being so open and honest and personal. I pray that the Lord would bring a husband for me one day who will have a heart like that towards my children!
Mr. Brazell, every post has been beautiful, but this one has really touched me and my family. I don’t really have any words to say other than thank you for writing this, for sharing your heart. It helps us all, and it’s beautiful and honoring to Jimmy. Praying for you all!
Chuck,
I am privileged to have worked with Chandler (Jimmy) at Survival Montana this year and to have experienced his heart to worship. As a fellow father, I can understand your desire to shout about your love for your son. This is not a message that the world understands – children are too often seen as burdens. But, seeing your proclamation encourages me to tell my children, and others the same thing, I love my sons and daughters!
Blessings,
Peter
Six months. Loving and missing Chandler, too, and so very grateful for his life.
Mr. Brazell,
I hesitate to write anything, because I have nothing to add and much to distract. But, I would like to at least acknowledge the power in your words, and echo how Jimmy’s exposure to lives in TeenPact, where I knew him, was resonant with the influence of the Gospel.
Your candor and grace blow my mind. Your God-honoring attitude models the kind of father I want to be.
In love,
Will
wow im speechless. i wish i could figure out my way..to help others get through difficult times. – i feel i have a purpose not sure what it is.. My son touched so many in his short life..with kindness and friendship and the word of God..they said his bible was as worn as a 90 year old mans. – I pray that God uses me in anyway he needs me. – I no there is time to every purpose under Heaven.. Maybe i will find my meadow and run through it soon. thank u guys for sharing chandlers life with us. I no him and Potter have become great friends and watch over us . Thank u dee potter
Yesterday, I organized a immigrant teachers workshop, and heared of Jimmy and his family story from a teacher of Dandelion School of Beijing, and I feel so moved sad , so I found this website. Although I never see Jimmy , I want to say my love to your dear family and show my respect to your volunteer job, and your family’s support for China’s immigrant Children’ school. This morning I told your story to my colleagues , we are crying silently, Yuanxiang from Beijing Normal University of China.